That is my new term that I just coined for this crap that these companies are allowed to claim as ‘chicken’ in the packaging that only contains parts of chickens. My lunch yesterday was Lean Cuisine’s Chile Lime Chicken. The front of the package says “white meat chicken in a red chile lime sauce with a medley of roasted corn, peppers and rice.” Unlike the faux chicken lips I had a few days ago, this composite chicken didn’t taste as fake. Probably because it had fewer ingredients in the “chicken” :

  • chicken tenderloins
  • water
  • seasoning
  • modified corn starch
  • sugar
  • potassium chloride
  • yeast extract
  • dextrose
  • spice
  • onion powder
  • garlic powder
  • paprika
  • soybean oil
  • isolated soy protein
  • salt
  • sodium phosphates

Ok – not ‘fewer’ but fewer creepy ingredients. I’m not keen on “sodium phosphates” or “potassium chloride” being in there, but have no issue with salt, paprika and onion powder. I really think most people have no idea that this is not bona fide chicken, but a composite. In the way particle board is indeed ‘wood’ – it is chopped up wood and glue mushed together with extreme pressure and the right amount of heat to make a board. Termites still love it, it’s still ‘wood’ – but it does not occur in nature. Likewise, this ‘chicken’ does not occur naturally out of a chicken’s body. It is bombarded with these crazy chemicals to make particle board composite chicken so that it looks like chicken and tastes vaguely similar. What a load of crap. The rice was good – the chile lime sauce was – eh. A bit too spicy, but not very impressive. I detected no lime flavor at all. The label says “Chef’s pick” and I’m going to tell you, they’re not talking about Chef Gordon Ramsay!